In mostly alternating chapters the mother and daughter co-authors tell their story of loss, search and reunion. As an adoptee, I identified most deeply with Jil’s (the daughter/adoptee) story.
Born in 1956, so many of Jil’s cultural references are the same as mine. Additionally, she attended UW-Madison and many of the places she mentions are familiar. For me she got the emotions just right. Growing up she felt that she didn’t quite fit, she felt a little bit like a fraud. She was anxious about searching, not wanting to upset her adoptive parents, whom she loved. She worried what her birth mother would think. She was ambivalent, obsessed, joyful, and sad. In the end, she feels satisfyingly whole.
Bunny’s story (the birth mother) is equally compelling in its portrayal of the loss that she endured when she surrendered her daughter and the joy she felt at reuniting with her daughter. The friend that loaned me this book is a birth mother and said she felt that Bunny’s story was also spot on.
No matter how many reunions I hear about or read about it still feels like stepping onto a rollercoaster. You know what the ride is about, but you’re never quite prepared for the exhilaration. This story is no different. I highly recommend it!
Jessica Lost: A Story of Birth, Adoption & The Meaning of Motherhood by Bunny Crumpacker and Jil Picariello (2011, 224 pages).
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